the best pic I ever taken...

 After every back and forth relationship there are loose ends... things that need to be release.. said.. done...  but once its over... the only thing anyone wants is peace... peace to be happy... peace to be one with yourself... and nothing else...  When I need to feel at peace I write... I let all of my feelings come through me... flow out of me.. so that I am no longer bothered by my fears.. my secrets... or anyone else's... Now that all of the lies and tears are over... I can write and not feel bad... not feel like bashing... not feel like crying... because I am in fact.... happy... and that is what pleases me the most.. my happiness...  So in doing my cleaning for my mental library... I wrote this to release myself for my past...

my ex

Scrub… removing actions… taking away words… erasing the last few years of my life… all the fighting… all the pain.

Gone…

Scrub… the yelling from my throat and crying from my eyes… from my mind… erasing him.. All the mistakes.. We made... together and apart… our questionable love…

Gone…

Scrub harder… to remove the laughs from my memory… the love we made… erase the embedded letters from my soul… the early morning chats from my mind… the evening cuddles from my body….

Gone…

Erase the heart that I torn… the eyes he left weeping… the in sync thoughts… the need to be held… scrub faster… scrub faster… scrub harder… make the pain disappear… scrub faster… harder.. remove his scent from my bed… faster rinse his scent from my clothes… faster… remove his belongings from my room… harder… faster… harder.. faster…

Keep erasing until… I can’t feel… can’t remember... erase... scrub... erase faster… scrub harder…

Make him…

Gone… from my forever... gone from my dreams... from thoughts... from my sight...  once he became out of sight... he graduated to out of mind...  and this last scrub makes him officially gone...